Walk through empty streets as pale streetlights peer down through the misty morning air.
Fade from life into eternity's gaze. I walk with angels.
Disguised by the sprinklers and caught by the wet grass, seeping through my clothing and into my soul.
The tears of heaven fall.
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
9.27.2008
9.23.2008
And then maybe
I can't answer my question: Why do I feel so numb?
I thought there was something there...
And then I thought you just liked being with me.
And I pondered whether I felt about you how I thought you felt about me.
Then I wondered if you do like being with me.
And I wondered if I really cared.
And then I decided that maybe you don't have a particular affinity for my company and I thought that was ok because I decided that maybe I didn't have a desire for yours either.
And then I wondered if anyone really does or if maybe they merely tolerate me like I tolerate so many of them.
And my confidence hit an all-day low but I didn't really care.
I'm somehow immune to the sting that kind of question might normally have on my psyche.
And maybe I don't believe that what I thought I felt was ever true.
Maybe I'm just tired.
Maybe I just over-analyze life..
Maybe I'm too passive or asexual or something.
But...maybe I'm over you.
I thought there was something there...
And then I thought you just liked being with me.
And I pondered whether I felt about you how I thought you felt about me.
Then I wondered if you do like being with me.
And I wondered if I really cared.
And then I decided that maybe you don't have a particular affinity for my company and I thought that was ok because I decided that maybe I didn't have a desire for yours either.
And then I wondered if anyone really does or if maybe they merely tolerate me like I tolerate so many of them.
And my confidence hit an all-day low but I didn't really care.
I'm somehow immune to the sting that kind of question might normally have on my psyche.
And maybe I don't believe that what I thought I felt was ever true.
Maybe I'm just tired.
Maybe I just over-analyze life..
Maybe I'm too passive or asexual or something.
But...maybe I'm over you.
11.09.2007
Why do all but the pretty girls end up walking home alone?
I glanced in your direction one too many times.
I tried to catch your eye, to capture your attention.
I smiled.
I tried to make you notice.
I only wanted to talk.
To walk.
With you.
We could catch up on everything that we’ve missed.
…if we had anything to catch up on.
I'm sure you don't remember everything we've been through.
I doubt you even knew i was present at the time.
We could remember what it was like to be there for each other.
…if you were ever there for me.
If you had cared for an instant.
If you had ever been there when I needed you.
I tried only a little bit too hard.
I waited for you only a moment too long.
Or a minute.
Or maybe ten.
I only wanted you to catch my eye.
I wanted you to notice.
I wanted you to take a single step out of your way.
For me.
All I asked for with my lingering was a moment of your time.
It’s not out of your way.
Well, maybe a step.
But I would never ask you to take that extra step.
I'd walk the last bit alone.
But no.
You didn’t notice.
You never knew.
And you will never know.
Because now I know.
I will not be naïve forever.
I may not catch on quickly, but I will catch on eventually.
You don’t want to be there for me.
You don’t want that extra smile.
You would not have noticed if I left without the extra moment’s pause.
Or maybe it was a minute.
Or ten.
You didn’t know that I was watching only you.
But if you had I suppose you would not have cared.
And you won’t notice if I’m not there for you again.
You were never there for me.
And you would not have taken the extra step.
The one I never asked you for.
You didn’t even take the first step.
The step that wasn’t out of your way.
I tried to catch your eye, to capture your attention.
I smiled.
I tried to make you notice.
I only wanted to talk.
To walk.
With you.
We could catch up on everything that we’ve missed.
…if we had anything to catch up on.
I'm sure you don't remember everything we've been through.
I doubt you even knew i was present at the time.
We could remember what it was like to be there for each other.
…if you were ever there for me.
If you had cared for an instant.
If you had ever been there when I needed you.
I tried only a little bit too hard.
I waited for you only a moment too long.
Or a minute.
Or maybe ten.
I only wanted you to catch my eye.
I wanted you to notice.
I wanted you to take a single step out of your way.
For me.
All I asked for with my lingering was a moment of your time.
It’s not out of your way.
Well, maybe a step.
But I would never ask you to take that extra step.
I'd walk the last bit alone.
But no.
You didn’t notice.
You never knew.
And you will never know.
Because now I know.
I will not be naïve forever.
I may not catch on quickly, but I will catch on eventually.
You don’t want to be there for me.
You don’t want that extra smile.
You would not have noticed if I left without the extra moment’s pause.
Or maybe it was a minute.
Or ten.
You didn’t know that I was watching only you.
But if you had I suppose you would not have cared.
And you won’t notice if I’m not there for you again.
You were never there for me.
And you would not have taken the extra step.
The one I never asked you for.
You didn’t even take the first step.
The step that wasn’t out of your way.
3.01.2007
Deep
The depths of the darkness
Night
I wait for the dawn
Trust
I walk through the shadows
Blindly
Following your footsteps
Steady
My hand is in Yours
You
Forever are with me
I know
I am never alone.
The depths of the darkness
Night
I wait for the dawn
Trust
I walk through the shadows
Blindly
Following your footsteps
Steady
My hand is in Yours
You
Forever are with me
I know
I am never alone.
I reach to the top and gasp for air
To give me life from death
Alone I swim toward the surface
As I strain for my first breath.
I reach out toward the table
For the food that gives me life
Your words, the Bread of Heaven
Forever fleeing from my sight.
The one who drinks this water
Need never thirst again
So I come to You to quench my thirst
To drown away my sin.
Alone, the night is closing
Crushed down in darkest depths
I beg You to bring the morning
As I strain for each last breath.
To give me life from death
Alone I swim toward the surface
As I strain for my first breath.
I reach out toward the table
For the food that gives me life
Your words, the Bread of Heaven
Forever fleeing from my sight.
The one who drinks this water
Need never thirst again
So I come to You to quench my thirst
To drown away my sin.
Alone, the night is closing
Crushed down in darkest depths
I beg You to bring the morning
As I strain for each last breath.
A study in the art of heartbreak & the beauty of pain
.The utter desperate beauty of tears.
.The tragic art of heartbreak.
.The hopeless romance of pain.
----------------------------------------------
All those plans she chose to make
All the chances she chose to take
Had it planned out oh-so-right
All were ruined in just one night
She’s so angry she could weep
So she cries herself to sleep
She’s been let down once again
By another so called friend
It’s like her usual un-perfect world
Has caved the whole way in
Look at it any way you like
There ain’t no way it’ll turn out right
So she cries herself to sleep
She’s been let down once again
By another so called friend
It’s like her usual un-perfect world
Has caved the whole way in
Look at it any way you like
There ain’t no way it’ll turn out right
Some kids fall asleep with dreams so sweet
...
Others fall asleep with tears
Others fall asleep with tears
---------------------------------------------------
empty
broken
lost
afraid
a lonely soul makes it’s lonely way
searching
searching
ever searching
looking for truth
seeking for hope
scouring the world to find peace
one lone spirit in this big empty world
one soul crying in the night
one heart looking for the only way
a little girl searching for light
blackness that burns
surrounding
terror unknown
lies in wait
hidden, under the covers
she fears
in her eyes squeezed tightly
tears
she’s a tortured soul
she’s searching for peace
a chance to escape from the night
guide her
lead her
take her by the hand
show her she can trust you
let her know she can!
guide her
lead her
bring her some peace
she’s a little girl who’s scared
a little girl in the night
a tortured soul
searching for light.
---------------------------------------------
i’m in a deep darkness
and i’m dreaming of you
in my darkness i’m
waiting
hoping
praying
looking
for your light to shine through
my waking dreams
my heartsick tears
my loneliness grows
as the light disappears
your healing touch
your consoling eyes
out of reach of
my waking insomniant cries
as i lie alone
in this place of fears
i look to you
to dry my tears
your soothing touch
your comforting eyes
all out of reach of
my waking insomniant cries
sleepless
restless
comfortless
i look for your love
to free me from this:
my pain filled dream
my nightmare alive
in the wide awake terror
of my semi-conscious mind
because I spend my life to wait for you
with pain inside my soul
your existence is still too far away
from this midnight black as coal
-----------------------------------
do you understand?
.The pain.
.The hopelessness.
.The reality.
9.09.2006
Art {in lyricless form}
****************************************************************
Names.
carved in the tree.
Spray painted in green.
And blue.
On ally brick.
Existence measured.
{Proved by the superficial?}
Are they real? They need proof.
Ellie was here.black.
Spray painted.
Graffiti.
Existence.
Proof.
More than marks on a tree?
Ally brick?
Proof that you are real?
Do you exist?
Do you matter?
Who cares where Ellie was?
All that matters is that Ellie WAS.
The all consuming desire
Of every heart
Or only mine?
Thoughts
So empty
D r i f t i n g
F r o m o n e t o t h e n e x t in a random
and chaotic order untilitallblendstogetherintoameaninglessjumbleof
A I M L E S S W O R D S.
thoughts on paper.
Captured.
Forever.
What is accomplished?
Names.
carved in the tree.
Spray painted in green.
And blue.
On ally brick.
Existence measured.
{Proved by the superficial?}
Are they real? They need proof.
Ellie was here.black.
Spray painted.
Graffiti.
Existence.
Proof.
More than marks on a tree?
Ally brick?
Proof that you are real?
Do you exist?
Do you matter?
Who cares where Ellie was?
All that matters is that Ellie WAS.
The all consuming desire
Of every heart
Or only mine?
Thoughts
So empty
D r i f t i n g
F r o m o n e t o t h e n e x t in a random
and chaotic order untilitallblendstogetherintoameaninglessjumbleof
A I M L E S S W O R D S.
thoughts on paper.
Captured.
Forever.
What is accomplished?
7.10.2006
[sand]Castles In The Air
is this where it’ll end
with wishing never to dream again?
‘cause it all falls down
and the walls can’t stand.
foundation -- shaky.
workmanship -- dull.
floor -- filled with holes.
into each of them I fall.
unending repairs
it’s forever ‘do-again’
when’s it gonna end, huh?
will I ever understand?
am I gonna learn my lesson
will there be an end to all the falls?
will I be here come forever
staring still at my blank walls?
it’s the house that I built
it's my castle in the air
but I can’t help wonderin’
is it really there?
man, it’s sure a fixer-upper
is it worth what it’ll cost?
am I gonna give up all
just to gain back what I’ve lost?
it’s the house that I built
every stone place by my hand
is it my dream-castle in the air,
or is my castle made of sand?
with wishing never to dream again?
‘cause it all falls down
and the walls can’t stand.
foundation -- shaky.
workmanship -- dull.
floor -- filled with holes.
into each of them I fall.
unending repairs
it’s forever ‘do-again’
when’s it gonna end, huh?
will I ever understand?
am I gonna learn my lesson
will there be an end to all the falls?
will I be here come forever
staring still at my blank walls?
it’s the house that I built
it's my castle in the air
but I can’t help wonderin’
is it really there?
man, it’s sure a fixer-upper
is it worth what it’ll cost?
am I gonna give up all
just to gain back what I’ve lost?
it’s the house that I built
every stone place by my hand
is it my dream-castle in the air,
or is my castle made of sand?
6.12.2006
Beauty
She Walks In Beauty
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade more, one ray less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
Lord Byron (1788-1824)
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade more, one ray less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
Lord Byron (1788-1824)
