9.23.2008

And then maybe

I can't answer my question: Why do I feel so numb?
I thought there was something there...
And then I thought you just liked being with me.
And I pondered whether I felt about you how I thought you felt about me.
Then I wondered if you do like being with me.
And I wondered if I really cared.
And then I decided that maybe you don't have a particular affinity for my company and I thought that was ok because I decided that maybe I didn't have a desire for yours either.
And then I wondered if anyone really does or if maybe they merely tolerate me like I tolerate so many of them.
And my confidence hit an all-day low but I didn't really care.
I'm somehow immune to the sting that kind of question might normally have on my psyche.
And maybe I don't believe that what I thought I felt was ever true.
Maybe I'm just tired.
Maybe I just over-analyze life..
Maybe I'm too passive or asexual or something.
But...maybe I'm over you.